When did that happen? Wednesday, November 4th I turned 30. Do I feel different...not physically. Mentally and emotionally...maybe. for some reason I am having a really hard time with 30. It's not the fact that I am starting to notice changes in my body, I have 3 kids it's pretty trashed already. Although I did find a gray hair when I woke up Wednesday morning. Starting to notice really fine lines along my eyes. I am okay with that too because it means I am smiling and laughing a lot and if the price is lines around my eyes then so be it.
In my head and when I look at myself in the mirror, I am still 22. When I see actual 22 year-olds I think differently but for now in my head I am still 22. I guess that's a good thing because as long as I think I am young, I will be! I have had a few encounters this last week that did lead me to believe that my age idea that is in my head might not be believable to everyone else. I went shopping for a new vacuum at Target this week. Not a big event in most people's lives but for me I was VERY excited about getting a new vacuum. So excited in fact that I had to send Scott a text message to tell him just how excited I was. I was informed that I was very dorky. Oh well, that has nothing to do with age I always have been a little dorky. As I was walking towards the back of the store where the vacuums are I was approached by a young man and asked "can I help you with anything MA'AM?". Are you serious? When did i cross the threshold of being called Miss to being called Ma'am? I swore yesterday I was still a Miss. Though I was very traumatized by the store clerk that CLEARLY needed glasses, I purchased my vacuum and headed home. This is where I started to worry about myself. All I could think about was getting home and trying out my new vacuum. I WAS EXCITED TO VACUUM! There has to be something wrong with me. Maybe I am getting sick, it can't be because I am turning 30 and might be considered a responsible adult. Holy Moly!
Vacuum story aside, Tuesday night by best friend since we were 5 years old got me out of bed at 10 o'clock and to me to TGI Friday's. She said I need to have dessert and a drink at midnight as I turned 30. Lots of fun... when I was younger I would have just been getting ready to go out at 10 o'clock but, now that is way past my bedtime. Concern again. when we walk in the bar there is a DJ. A DJ on a Tuesday night? The bar was packed (don't these people have to work in the morning?) and we found a spot. Chatting non-stop like we always do, I paused mid sentence and said (I still can't believe these words came out of my mouth) "It's a little loud in here. I can't even here you talk." What? Did I just complain about it being too loud? Yikes.
These are not the reason's I am having a hard time turning 30. I do feel like I just turned 22 and now all of the sudden I am 30. How did this happen? When did this happen? If my 20's went SO fast it scares me that the rest is going to go even faster. I don't want it to go faster. I want it to slow down. Enjoy everyday not rushing through life and then realize it's close to being over. I want to stay this way forever (not just because I am so clumsy that Scott tells me I am going to be in a wheelchair by 40) because I am loving life right now.
There is only 1 upside to turning 30. My 20's were crazy and fast-paced. A roller coaster of emotions. Getting my degree, having 3 babies (one I had while in college), getting married, illness, surgeries, death in the family, almost losing our marriage. Such extreme highs and lows. Financial struggles, emotional struggles, just lots of struggles in general. Becoming responsible for 3 human lives. My 20's were very unpredictable. That is the one thing I am looking forward to in my 30's. The only wish I have. A very boring, non-descript decade of life. Will it happen...probably not but, I will try and love every second of it. Here we come 30's...hope you can handle me!
4. a supportive, loving family
5. a roof over our heads 
8. grilled cheese sandwiches made with goat cheese
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